I know that asking for permanence from people is just.. futile. Still and all, it is within me to want to crystalize my memories with the people that made up the puzzle of who I am.
I think that everyone’s first job is complicated; mine is no exception. We are just starting to individualize, asking questions about what we want, our dreams and passion, and basically trying to know who we are. That’s why I always feel that my first job is monumental in shaping who I am going to be. However, I am so lucky in this category.
For the past (almost) three years, I have been doing my best to understand myself more, always looking both inward and outward to ruminate. Fortunately, while looking outward, I was surrounded by par excellence people: inspiring bosses, supportive co-workers, and an overall robust support system.
One is very kind; she cried while saving a kitten on the side of the street. One is the most prolific academic writer in Indonesia. The other one inspires me to take this path. This girl doesn’t like a music genre but dances along to every song on our karaoke night. One is such softhearted and amicable people just gravitate toward her. This one is mature; we learned a lot from her. A person taught me to dance even though I am as stiff as a block of steel. The other one taught me how to write, saying that my writing is good enough even though I know it is just half-baked and scattered. One I consider my sister for all of the guidance she gave me. One pulled me out of a slump in 2021, and I would not be here if it weren’t for her.
Mentors, friends, that’s what my first job gave me.
These people helped me realize what kind of person I should be. Because of them, I came there barely a decent human but left wanting to be a better person.
a piece of my favourite song about moving on:
“3 years felt both short and long. Many things happened, many memories hit me now that we’re about to leave.
The traces left like bank statements and credit cards.
We could get closer to each other thanks to the small house size.
Fight right here we would hit each other a few times.
Maybe that made us develop love and hate toward this place.
Now I’m going to take pride and aim at a bigger world, a bigger dream.
A new start, a new beginning.
A time of excitement, thinking how we will decorate again. Goodbye now”
Sometimes we said too many goodbyes and endured too many uncertainties. When the people that I thought were going to be nobody become somebody. The job I thought I only liked turned out to be a job I love. Again, I know that seeking permanence from people is just futile. But just as I hug them, cry on their shoulder for all the days passed, laugh shared, and memory made, in just one split second, I wish that this part of my life will never end.
I know it is absurd. Because life must be lived, and dreams shall be chased.
But for a split second, I wish the friendship thrives.
